You find out you are pregnant and emotions flood your mind. The emotions seem to change every few minutes from excitement, nervousness, overwhelming joy, and disbelief. Your life is forever changed in that moment that you realize you are going to be a mom.
It was September of 2020 that I found out I was pregnant and overjoyed with excitement! I had been patiently waiting for years and finally was married and expecting a baby girl. I was so excited to start telling everyone and was surprised at the responses I received. I got the normal “congratulations, I am so excited for you” which I loved hearing. However, I got a lot of “well you will never sleep again,” “just wait until you start craving everything and get fat,” “oh boy, labor is the worst pain ever. Are you ready for that?,” “Soon your life will be all about spit up and changing diapers. No more horse riding for you!”
While all the responses are from well-intentioned people, it struck fear in me. I began to doubt myself. “Will I be able to handle labor? Will I be a good mom? Can I manage a baby?” This lasted a few weeks and then I began to realize how broken our culture is. When blessed with a baby, the ability to carry life becomes something negative. It broke my heart that God who is the creator and maker of life, who said in Psalm 127:3, “Children are a gift from the Lord, a reward from him,” and now children are being viewed as an inconvenience or burden.
From that day forward, I started writing down scripture and putting them around the house to be reminded just how much God loves children and that being pregnant was a blessing from God. Any time fear hit me ,I would immediately stop the thought and speak affirmations, scripture, or write down all the things I was grateful for in that moment.
My midwife taught me that during labor it is crucial to have your mind focused on God, to relax, and not let fear enter. The pain cycle starts with fear which then creates tension, and tension creates pain. The nine months I carried my daughter were nine months of trying to better my mind and let me tell you, this was a difficult task at times. Looking back, I am thankful for the trials and learning to overcome them with God. Those nine months could have been defeating, but instead I have a stronger faith in God. I know He can change your thought processes and make you realize just how strong you are with His help.
Changing your thought pattern is a continual process that has to be intentional. It does not happen overnight and to this day I still have to be intentional to take every thought captive and not let my brain get lazy and get stuck in negativity. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
When negative thoughts or thoughts that carry fear in them come into your mind, stop immediately and replace them with positive affirmations, scriptures or prayers.
Below is a list of scriptures and affirmations I would continually remind myself of:
- Above all else pray, pray big, and know deep in your heart that God is on your side and loves both you and your baby. Relax in God’s truth about what He has to say about you.
- Meditate on God’s Word.
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate.” Psalm 127:3-5
- I see joy and beauty in the birthing process.
Reminding myself that Hollywood tries to convince us otherwise, there is beauty and joy in the birthing process. It is the most intense, sacred, and primal experience of your life. You will go to the depths of yourself and see life itself birthed through you. It is an awe-inspiring experience that leaves many speechless and in tears, but it is a glorious gift, it is not to be dreaded, feared, or endured.
- I make peace with my past.
Surrounded by new things, a new life growing inside, a home filled with baby stuff, now is the perfect time to make peace with your past. Grieve the pain and then accept and forgive yourself or anyone who has disappointed you. You have too much to live for now, set yourself (and others) free through the power of forgiveness. You and your baby are worth it!
- Embrace the gift of motherhood.
Not everyone will become a mother, but you get to enter this new role. Take time to stop and reflect that you are a mother!!! You get to shepherd this child into adulthood. You get to love this child, and yes there will be long nights, but you learn to love the snuggles and the extra uninterrupted time to pray over your baby during those long nights. Thank God that He gives you the strength and wisdom to care for this child. Remind yourself that the late nights will come and go, it is only for a season. Motherhood is a gift and you will grow in ways you cannot even imagine.
- Embrace the unknown.
Focus on what you do know and trust that God will help you with the unknown. When the what ifs flood your mind, remember God is with you and for you. He is forming your baby inside you and knew that child before he was even created.
- I can give birth to my baby and learn to be a great mom.
At times, giving birth may seem like it will overwhelm you or that it’s too big for you to bear. There’s no doubt about it. Childbirth takes many mamas to the end of themselves, but this is a good thing. You’re giving birth not only to your baby, but also to your mama heart. You are birthing a love that knows no bounds. Let it happen. It is all part of the glorious design. Just as God gives you the strength to give birth, he will give you the strength and wisdom to parent the child He has blessed you with.
Our thoughts can become our reality. I encourage you to ask God for help with your mindset and to practice daily focusing on the blessings that God has given you. Surround yourself with people who will encourage you and help hold you up when you get weary. Ask for help when you need it and know that God chose you to carry this child and He will give you the strength you need in all situations.
